approx. 6 min read
When I was a child, the dangers lurking outside seemed manageable. My parents taught me how to behave on my way to school. Even today, I reach for the hand of my now 45-year-old sister when we cross the street. And there was Rolf Zuckowski. I knew what I had to wear to be seen and what to do if I got lost. I pass all of this on to my child too. However, when it comes to the internet, there is no role model. Of course, I exchange ideas with other parents. Ultimately, I have to find a safe path for myself and my child.
Some parents decide to keep their children away from digital media for as long as possible. Certainly not an easy task. Since I spend a lot of time online myself, both professionally and personally, it is my decision to gradually introduce my child to the digital world. It is a balancing act. I have a compass here: As long as my child prefers playing outside with friends to consuming digital media, I am relaxed. In addition, “digital media” should not be generalized. Children's smartwatches, for example, relieve me as a mother of many worries, as I can reach my child in an emergency and even locate them.
The beginning of our digital journey was simple. For moments of peace, I occasionally gave my child, then perhaps 3 years old, the phone. I had previously downloaded The Wiggles. Later, I set the appropriate age restriction on YouTube Kids. “Adult YouTube” is taboo due to the ads and other content (and it will remain so for a long time). Since my son watched next to me, I could hear everything and experience his reaction.
As my son grew up, around preschool age, smartphone games became popular. At first, I selected the games, then more and more ideas came from him. We downloaded and set up every game together. And then we deleted it again if it wasn't a good game or included hidden costs. I always explained why we were deleting it again. Eventually, he deleted the games himself. We also talk about cost models again and again. Seven euros a week is a lot of money! We do not make in-app purchases. At most, for favorite games, I occasionally pay a one-time 99 cents for the ad-free version.
Another rule we have is “Playing should be fun.” Games that make him emotionally distressed are deleted. The purpose of games is not to be stressed. I am consistent here. The wonderful thing - my son has completely internalized this. “Mom, I’m deleting the game again. It upsets me.” In these moments, I am really proud of him and also a little proud of myself.
Now we are in elementary school. In the meantime, my son has his own smartwatch, but not yet his own phone. The topic of “Having Your Own Phone” is often already on the table for elementary school students. I do not want to judge this, it depends too much on the respective living circumstances. There are certain situations where it makes sense. For my 7-year-old son, I personally consider it too early. For long trips or for the waiting room at the dentist, I have set up an old phone. With family sharing, without access to the internet. I no longer give my own phone to my son. It has no restrictions and contains a lot of data that is important to me. In addition, the little smart man copied my codes and proudly told about it at school.
On the second phone, we have selected apps that we all selected and set up together. The number of apps is limited for us. For every new game, an old game must be deleted. I check this regularly. Through family sharing, he cannot download any game without my knowledge. Sometimes it is annoying to approve games. Nevertheless, I continue to look at every game. Two minutes of my time can prevent nightmares.
Eventually, the own phone will come. Until then, our children's smartwatch fulfills all our requirements - receiving and sending messages, making phone calls, location tracking, and counting steps. In addition, the smartwatch cannot be lost as quickly. When the own phone eventually comes, I want my son to be prepared. Currently, I can still exert a lot of influence with family sharing, etc. However, I believe that the day will come when he masters the phone better than I do. I know it from myself. Neither my older sisters nor my parents knew about electronic media. The child safety feature of the television was a dream. When I was angry, I blocked the entire television or certain channels. And that is exactly what I trust my son to do. In a few years, he will know how to bypass my safety settings. So I want him to have learned responsible use.
P.S.: Do you know the phone driver's license from anio? The card game has a lot of questions and child-friendly answers to a variety of questions around phones and dangers. A vital tip in advance: Do not look at your phone while walking. We adults should also keep it in mind.
Here is the phone driver's license from anio
I cannot say if everything happens at the right age for us. I also do not know if this even exists. However, I take every step together with my son. Like learning to ride a bike. So that I can eventually let go completely with peace of mind.
Our author Beatrix lives in Berlin with her 7-year-old son Louis and two dogs. Beatrix has lived with her son in several European cities. Now they are based in Berlin. While Louis goes to second grade and grows up bilingual, Beatrix runs a startup. In addition to school and work, the family maintains an active lifestyle with a lot of sports, leisure activities, and travel. It is important to Beatrix that Louis grows up emancipated, finds his way around the big city, and builds a strong self-confidence. Beatrix is not named Beatrix in real life, Louis is not named Louis. After all, our posts are about digital safety.
